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[05 Dec 2009|04:58pm] |
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I never thought that things could be this good... Mark makes me happy.. Like I never thought was possible.. He makes me feel all crazy good and amazing and like I'm always on top of the world.. I thought that actually giving a fuck abt someone, for me, was impossible.. With the shit that's happened in the past few years, to actually feel something for someone is crazy.. It feels unreal, but in the best way.. Not like I never wanted it to happen, I just wasn't really sure that I did.. I knew that I didn't want it in vain, and I didn't want it with someone who would just be a dick to me.. I know some girls thrive on that, but I don't, I can't.. I'm not a nice girl, and I'm not sweet. I have been incredibly cruel and unkind in the past, to people in general, and guys I've dated.. And I've cared less what they thought, or felt, or what anyone else thought abt it...
I know most people don't really know our back story, but Mark and I remember it all, and that's really what matters... He knows my heart is for him, and will be always.. <3
Tomorrow is our 9 month anniversary, and as small as that sounds to some people, that's HUGE for me.. Not only do I not let people in easily, while I may say whatever I am feeling, or whatever is on my mind, my true feelings are rarely shown to anyone.. Not that I don't WANT to, but really, I don't want to.. I just don't like getting close to people.. The only people I've truly let in in the past few years, have been Mechler, Cindell, and Mark... I've pushed people away intentionally, been rude when I felt they were getting too close, and just ignored people.. And for once in my life, I feel like I have everything.. Even if some days are harder than others, I know that things are going to work out and be great..
Our kids get along, and Sophie has started calling me 'Mommy'.. Which when Mark and I first started dating I said that I wasn't cool with, but with the complete lack of her actual mother being in her life- which really isn't the worst thing ever, and me being in that place, I've finally gotten to be cool with it.. She's such a freakin sweet heart, and is soooooo hilarious (She asked Santa yesterday if he liked her high tops! lol!)..
Basically, things are going great... Mark and I are getting on great, hanging out and being exhausted together.. Hanging out with the kids, and working.. I feel like I don't see him enough some days, and other days I just don't even want to get out of bed with him (not in the sexual way, just in the cuddle and sleep way) bc I'd rather just not even get up and pretend to care abt a job that I don't even like..
As far as work goes, I still have my days where I hate it beyond belief, and other days where I get cracked up by my co-workers.. Which in some cases, bc I can't help but be mean as fuck to some of them bc I hate them... Srsly.. A few of them, I'd be okay if they fell into a well... A really really deep one that was filled with enough water so that I could sit and watch them fight to see who would prevail in a fight to the death..
I'm really just rambling at this point.. I need to go flat iron my hair since I colored it earlier.. I also need to do dishes and take the trash out, and cook.. Mark loves my cooking, which makes me happy.. I'd be miz if he was like 'yuck, this is awful' which he has only said one thing I've made was bad, and that was my pumpkin cheesecake, which he doesn't like pumpkin, so I wasn't offended.. haha
I guess I'm going to grab a quick shower, blow dry my hair and flat iron it, and start cleaning and cooking..... O_o
<3
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[18 Nov 2009|07:37pm] |
Things could not be better.. Mark is definitely my other half.. <3
Things at work are here and there, sometimes they're better, sometimes they're positively miz.. But whatevz.. I got my smiley pierced, it felt really weird at first but now it's just cute and fun... There are constantly updated pics of life on facebook, facebook.com/ohmessylj if ya wanna add me :)
I am so excited about tomorrow, we finally have an off day together with no kids! ^_^ I love our girls, but we rarely get alone time, and it'll be nice... I love that man a ridiculous amount, he makes me giddy.. n_n
Not really too much to update, things are going well, just always busy being a mommy and a housewife, on top of working 40 hours a week, and being stressed at times abt work, and trying to find some time to be creative in it all, and make some art... Which is rare lately... Mark asked if I was going to start making stuff again, and while I REALLY want to, I am just so tired all the time.. It sucks bc I really wanna play with stuff, and make stuff.. I also want some canvas to paint on, and I'd like to buy new paint, through the 10 moves in the past several years, I have lost so much stuff... My paints seem to be one of those things.. Weak.. Although, last weekend I did crochet a turtle neck scarf.. It's purple and black and very cute! I need to pick up some buttons for it while we're in hsv tomorrow.. The Apple store is near Michael's, so it'll work out.. ^_^ I am totally cooking jambalaya tonight, if Mark ever comes home, he was in Birmingham Monday and most of Tuesday and we snuggled hard last night to make up for the night we missed together.. I have never ever been so happy with anyone, nor have I ever felt so much love.. He is so crazy awesome and fun.. He makes me giggle, and makes my eyes all dreamy.. Haha...
Julie is coming to get Sophie on Tuesday of next week to take her back to Mobile, and we'll be getting her back Sunday, I'm really excited abt having 3 kid free nights, it'll be the longest kid free time we've had since they moved up. I know Sophie will really love being able to hang out with everyone in Mobile, I know she misses them, and they miss her.. Her behaviour in school has improved so so so so much! She is such a freakin' sweetie and can be so hilarious and lovable, but sometimes she has an attitude.. She's changed a lot in the past few weeks though, and definitely for the better.. ^_^
I need to cook, so I'm going to end this... Mark still isn't home but I know Sophie and I are hungry :[ so, time to cook it is... Maybe he will get home before it's done.. I can't believe it's already 7:30, today dragged by until I got off work, and now it's like speeding by... Fail.
But- I'll throw a couple pics in here for those of you that aren't on FB... <3
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[15 Nov 2009|12:05pm] |
Mark started a new job, I got a new piercing, I'm ready for a vacation with just Mark and I.. Things are good.. I want some green skinny jeans.. But I've got to start working out again.. I feel too fat for life.. I don't know how Mark even thinks that I'm cute, bc I totally don't feel it.. It's Sunday, and I'm already for this week to be nearly over... Mark and I are both off on Thursday, which is awesome bc it'll be the first day we have had off together- no kids- since we both took off early for his birthday.. In which case, we still got Sophie, but had a baby sitter that night..
I'm waiting for laundry to finish drying, and more to finish washing.. needing to take Sophie's summer clothes from her dresser and put winter clothes in it so she'll stop fussing abt not wanting to wear a skirt, and have plenty of pants.. :P
I need my hair trimmed, Mark is loving his new job.. Once it picks up, and he starts making hours there, I'm sure he'll love it even more.. He has to go to birmingham tomorrow and stay the night in a hotel with this guy he works with, Monday night, and spend Monday and Tuesday in class for Firestone... Very very unhappy abt that..
I do not have the motivation nor the attention span right now to finish this... I will post something with substance later.. I know I keep saying that, but it will happen one day.... O_o
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| where we're going... we don't need roads.. |
[29 Oct 2009|07:00am] |
1. my checking acct has LITERALLY $.01... How it came out to just ONE PENNY I am amazed.... And 2. Mark and I have both gained 25lbs since he moved here... How crazy, that tells me that I definitely need to lose my weight back.. I just haven't been running b/c everytime I want to, it's raining, I'm so exhausted that I don't even want to get up, I'm at work, or I'm just generally not able due to whatever is going on.. I feel so fat.. He looks great, b/c he's not as skinny as he was, and he looks really nice.. ^_^
I am so incredibly sleepy.. Like I feel like I shouldn't be this sleepy.. v_v We did go to bed kinda late last night though, and we drank beers last night.. So, I'd guess that PROBABLY has Something to do with it..
Ugh.. My tummy hurts.. I just want to feel like I got enough sleep, and not feel so drained and shitty.. D:
I really don't have much to say atm.. I really do intend to do a full post, just not feeling it right now..
>_>
<_<
O_o
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[29 Sep 2009|07:13am] |
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Since being with Mark, I've been more creative and more inspired... He really makes me happy and motivates me to do more. I could not be happier, ever.. We have a really cute place, and things are going awesome.. I have absolutely no complaints abt anything..
This is my idea for how I'm going to paint my tv stand after sanding it.. the pics are a little out of order b/c I was sketching it out at work and wasn't thinking abt putting it in an exact order.. O_o Now it kinda looks funny on the paper, but it's still a concept for the tv stand, overall.. I don't think that it will be that hard, I've got a million crazy ideas for doing fun things in our home, that I'm really excited about.. I can't wait to be able to carry them out, they're all fairly inexpensive ideas.. I hope they work out right.. haha
Since sweater weather is now here, officially, I am going to start running when I get off work, in between the two hours that I am home, before Mark and Sophie get home. I feel so fat and gross, I have gained 13lbs back of the 30lbs that I lost since they moved up here, and it's because my hours are crazy and I haven't had a schedule set. I think the fact that my schedule changed to 7a-3:30p at work will help this whole thing out a lot.. I think that if I can make the effort to start exercising in the afternoons and going back to drinking almost only water, and stop drinking energy drinks occasionally, that I will lose my re-gained weight.. I also think that if we all, as a family, start eating better that will be easier.. Mark has gained a little weight since they moved also, he looks fantastic either way though ;).. I could only really tell how much weight I've gained when I put my skinnies on and I was muffin topping again, how depressing.. haha..
I've been having the weirdest dreams, and the weirdest inspirations lately.. I have a weird obsession for keys used in jewelry, and also for octopus related things, but I have had the octopus love for like 2 years now.. I don't know what it is abt them, but they're just neat.. I also have this strange thing for bears. They're just so cuddly looking while being vicious killing machines.. I have been listening to a lot of random music lately, but haven't updated my last.fm (or listened to it) in a while.. I need to get on that.. I need suggestions for new music! Due to demonoid being down for like the past two weeks I haven't downloaded shit, and that makes me sad.. :(
I am at work though, and searching for crafting ideas.. Thinking abt working longer hours for the rest of the week, so that I can buy things to craft.. I have so many ideas.. I am so ready to get started on going crazy with crafts, and I wish I could just sit at home and craft all the time, or just have more days off, haha.. I want to start buying paint, and b/c I want to learn french I'm going to label everything in the house in french so we can all learn what I'm trying to say, when I say these things.. We will see how this works out.. I really want to learn french, haha..
I think I'm gonna end this novel though, it's just been so long since I posted anything with any substance in here.. Haha.. There are a ton of pics from Sophie's 3rd birthday that I'll post on here that are on facebook already.. I just have to remember my photobucket password.. It's saved on the photobucket app on my phone so the only way for me to upload pics right now on my photobucket is on my phone.. haha, I feel retarded for that..
I hope all you guys an gals are doing awesome.. <3
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[18 Sep 2009|09:20pm] |
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Did anyone else's journal entries on their friends page go from the 13th to the 18th?? wtf.
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[15 Sep 2009|04:47pm] |
Happy birthday to Mark... I think he had a pretty wild night last night :D
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[08 Sep 2009|09:24pm] |
We Finally got internet at home yesterday... (fuck yes)... Things are awesome with us, aside from both of us hating our jobs.. D:<
Hopefully things will look up..?
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[20 Aug 2009|11:41pm] |
I've been feeling crafty lately... and earrings are so fucking expensive for me at this point..... 
( why not just make 'em? )
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[10 Aug 2009|09:01pm] |
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totally pissed.. I think it's bullshit that the only cable provider in my area is Charter.. and they're expensive and a buncha bullshit... D:
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[02 Aug 2009|10:08am] |
Oh man I just woke up from the weirdest dreams... I had dreams that I got a phone that was shaped like an egg, and flipped out like the G1, and it was TERRIBLE... It had a screen more like one of the old tomigatchi egg thingies.. haha.. It was all black and grey and with the 'generic' looking green grey screen... So weird!
My dream had so much more in it, but I really don't remember all of it... D:
Also, we are mostly in the townhouse, we just have some of my shit to go... Then we'll be settled in, all of his things are here.. We bought a washer and a pantry thingie b/c we have a lack of cabinet space.. Things look pretty good... I'm happy... :D
Mark is 21337
(he typed that while I was afk)
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[31 Jul 2009|03:46am] |
omfg.. like 12 hours and I'll have my love and Sophie here! Marks parents are also coming to help with the move.. I couldn't be more excited...
This man... omg.. I am so in love it's scary... There aren't words to describe how amazing the feelings I get when he's on my mind are... It's beautiful....
here.... /gag
That's for all you guys reading this, b/c I know I'm bein' super fag and you're probably all like 'omg gay' hahahahah :P
<3
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[24 Jul 2009|01:49am] |
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I made a wickedly awesome sounding resume tonight.... I hope it lands me a new job.. :D
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[12 Jul 2009|01:48am] |
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we got the townhouse, we should be moved in Around/By august 1st... :D
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[09 Jul 2009|11:37pm] |
I have a haircut appointment at 10:30am.. I'm getting bangs, against my better judgement... Haha.. Nah, I love bangs for a while, then when they get super shaggy I hate them... If I keep them groomed I should be fine.. O_o I am also having it thinned out a good bit.. I have a style in mind.. But pics will be posted tomorrow.. I may or may not get some fun colors in it too.... I'm thinking purple and blue... I am not 100% sure just yet... :P
We shall see.. :D
I am hopelessly in love.. It's a beautiful thing..
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| from last night.... |
[07 Jul 2009|02:42am] |
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I decided to fix my hair at 2am... It's the general time I do anything.. So, I parted it a different way and took pics to see if I really liked it or not? I wasn't sure, but still was like fuck it.. I went to work today and was complimented tons, on my hair cut.. hahah I heard it looked longer, and that I looked more girly, and one boy actually looked at me and told me that I am "actually really cute today".. which made me giggle.. O_o
( what I actually looked like At work )
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